Do you find yourself struggling with the same old dysfunctional habits day after day? Week after week? Month after month? Year after year?
I’ve had good conversations with some clients recently about this. If you do struggle with poor habits, you are not alone.
Let’s keep this simple. The next time you are in the throes of having made a dumb decision, again, or you simply can’t get off the merry go round that is your relationship with poor self-soothing methods, answer the following questions:
- What am I trying not to feel right now?
- When did I learn this method, or from whom did I learn this method?
- What was going on in my world when I picked this method up?
- Can I spend the next 15 minutes sitting still, not participating in my usual methods?
- What feelings come up during those 15 minutes of stillness?
Once the 15 minutes have passed, (or many days, this is a more reasonable, realistic time frame if we’re being honest) come up with new self-soothing methods that are healthier and more supportive in design. As you come up with these new ideas, consider the following:
- Am I being kind to myself with my new methods?
- What do I hear myself saying to myself during these moments of challenge?
- What are three nice things I can shine a light on that show support, compassion and understanding to myself instead of judgment or harshness?
Talk with your Vervewell therapist about your self-soothing habits. Building healthy, supportive routines is the goal. The goal is not to alleviate challenges in our external world, that simply isn’t realistic. The goal is, and will always be, to learn new navigating skills within your internal world: your thoughts, your feelings, your actions.
You are powerful. Practice using your power for good.
Allow us to help you, we’d be so honored.
In helpfulness,
Beth
Founder at Vervewell
Feel free to go to our website and read or reread any of the emails you have found to be helpful or supportive.
And while you’re on our website, listen to our podcast, This Won’t Be Done By 5
https://vervewell.org/our-podcast/
We are recording Season 3 this month, with a release sometime in December, maybe January. All of us at Vervewell are continually creating resources that are supportive and helpful to each of us as we meander our way through this thing called life. Therapy for everyone.
