I am going to have a SPECTACULAR new year…
which may not always be happy. I will likely experience some sadness, some darkness, because I’m a human living an experience. And I am here to tell you, it ain’t always happy, but it is and will continually be, spectacular.
You see, it’s about reaction. I can opt to react to my darker days as spectacular opportunity. I know I know, that sounds a bit annoying. The person who continually finds the bright side of things can really tap on my nerves some days. But, the person who continually allows the darkness to be their guide, can also be a bit, well, macabre, if I may be so dramatic.
I am guilty of being an optimist. I was born this way, and thankfully so, because I really do NOT like feeling low. One may ask: who does? But as a therapist who has the honor of working with a variety of humans living their experiences, I have sat in the room with some who stay low because low feels familiar. And most of us like familiarity.
Which brings me to my point: when the darkness shows up, which it will (remember: your human experience contains ALL the feelings), allow it to be your reminder, your opportunity, to become aware that feeling low is “simply” a reaction to your thoughts, your perspective.
Here is an example: you’re stuck in traffic (which is an observation, a perspective, or thought about your environment), you’ve had a very exhausting day and you just want to be HOME, in your pajamas with the curtains drawn because no one really understands you. Yet, the damn traffic is at a stand still. You can REACT to this observation, these thoughts, as a very bad thing, a total pain in the ass, a frustration at the very least. OR, you can rethink, and remember this email. and how darkness is a reminder to swap your reaction. What if this stand still traffic were experienced, FELT as opportunity to be still, to listen to some calming music (my go to is either Erik Satie, Chopin or Wilco…I like variety), to build your patience.
Once you make this exercise a regular thing, the practice of healthy reactions to thoughts will become what is familiar. And remember, we humans LIKE familiarity.
For me, the goal isn’t to be always HAPPY, because that doesn’t feel realistic or accurate. I strive for spectacular because spectacular can exist in the absence of happy. It truly is up to you to mastermind your thoughts, your perspective, your reactions.
I wish for you a perspective building new year full of spectacle, personal growth, reaction shifting.
I wish for you a spectacular new year.
In health and wellness,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
