This Won’t Be Done by January

Vervewell Counseling’s Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S and Casye LeRay, LPC have collaborated to send to you the cliff notes (seriously, only the highlights) of their recent conversation about the New Year and the resolutions, goals, and resets we tend to set in place…in January.

How are they holding up now that we are mid-February?

“Do you set resolutions for your New Year?” Casye asked Beth.

“Not usually, but I do like a good reset…I get giddy when the first of a month falls on a Monday! I love a clean start…”

“I’m the same,” said Casye, “Why do we do these resolutions when 9 out of 10 times, we don’t continue past…Valentine’s Day…at best?! And then we are left with a feeling of failure or guilt…and it’s only February!”

This discussion with Beth inspired Casye to create this list of six suggestions.

While this exchange happened and this list was created at the top of January, Beth and Casye wanted this email to arrive to you mid-February…likely the time you may need a soft reminder that the human condition holds no deadlines…and that your personal growth is ON TRACK whether you’re nailing your goals, or those same goals feel a bit…distant.

ALL of your strides count.

We learn from them, whether a success or a pause, or anything in between.

SIX (6) ways to keep you grounded and help you accomplish your goals without all the added stressors or feelings of failure:

1. Rethink Resolutions: Focus on Intentions, Not Perfection

Many people set rigid, all-or-nothing resolutions like “I’ll work out every day” or “I’ll never eat sugar again.”

When we inevitably slip, guilt can harm our mental well-being.

Try instead: Set intentions or themes — for example, “I’ll move my body more often” or “I’ll be kinder to myself.”

This encourages progress over perfection.

2. Choose Mental Health–Centered Goals

Not all resolutions need to be about productivity or physical health. Consider goals that nurture your emotional and psychological wellness, such as:

• Practicing daily gratitude or journaling
• Setting digital boundaries (turn off social media 1 hour prior to bed time)
• Scheduling regular therapy or mental health check-ins
• Prioritizing sleep and rest
• pending quality time with supportive people
• Eat dinner with no technology and actually talk about things

3. Break Big Goals Into Manageable Steps

Large or vague goals can feel overwhelming, increasing anxiety.

Use the “1% better” approach: Focus on tiny, consistent progress — like five minutes of meditation a day or one new coping strategy per week (breathing exercises for example)

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Change is rarely linear. Some days will feel easier than others.

When you stumble, ask: “What would I say to a friend in my position?”

That mindset shifts you away from self-criticism and toward growth.

5. Build a Support System

Accountability partners, community groups, or even social media communities can help keep you motivated and supported — as long as comparisons don’t become stressful.

6. Reflect and Adjust Regularly

Rather than waiting for next January, check in monthly or quarterly. Ask yourself:

• What’s working for my mental health?
• What’s causing unnecessary pressure?
• How can I make my goals more realistic or joyful?

Stay focused on one day at a time and give yourself grace at every turn, especially if you happen to slip up.

Remember, the slip ups are also part of your personal growth path.

Each day is a new start and with each new day, it’s another day full of small scores and signals building us up, lifting our lives right on time.