From the very moment we enter the world we are being taught. The adults in our lives and our own experiences with the world teach us so much; we learn how to walk, how to speak, how gravity works, how to do math, how to be polite, how to swim and how to ride bicycles and drive cars. Each day of that upbringing these practical skills are taught to us at home and in schools so that we will be able to use them and function as adults. These things are our education on how to survive.
But there is another form of education that, while desperately needed, is not so often taught to us: education on how to live. You’ll not find university courses on managing the grief of a loved one passing away. No middle school curriculum includes classes on how to soothe oneself in the face of anxiety and panic. No teenager is found stressing over their exam on challenging and restructuring negative thinking. We are taught how to achieve our ends but not how to determine what we truly want – or how to enjoy them once accomplished.
Some of these capabilities are ideally taught to us by our parents, but many times parents fail to impart them to our developing minds. Parents and other guiding adults who were absent, uncaring, or simply had never learned these things themselves often leave us without any firm education on these essential skills to living life.
It is not only that others often fail to give us education on how to live. Often, we are given wrongful lessons by our experiences and traumas. These wrongful lessons, taught intentionally or otherwise, frequently follow us throughout our lives; lessons such as, “My worth is based on how others see me,” “I’m an incompetent person,” or “I am unlovable.” These lessons rob us of joy and sabotage our ability to live. Sometimes, when things become bad enough, they even sabotage our ability to survive.
Therapy has many potential applications, but one of the most important is providing education on how to live, not just survive. A real education, one which engages with you and finds the most effective solutions for your individual needs. One which guides you on managing and enduring the hardest times and most unbearable emotions in life. One which helps you to look inside and discover what you really value the most. And perhaps above all, one which helps you to disentangle and unlearn those false lessons which have leeched away your happiness for so long.
Therapy is a means to discover what living life really means for you, and an education on how to live that life to the fullest.
Nick Callaghan is a graduate clinician at Vervewell Counseling, delivering specialized individual therapy for young adults across the Fort Worth area. Pursuing his master’s degree at Lamar University, Nick assists clients in uncovering personal strengths. He utilizes a versatile blend of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and Solution-Focused methodologies. Backed by extensive field experience as a Tarrant County mental health case manager, Nick provides practical behavioral tools to help people reshape unhelpful thinking through major life shifts.
