The most respectful thing you can do in your relationships? Draw a line.
Setting healthy boundaries not only draws a line, but also shows respect to all involved.
What are healthy boundaries and why are they important?
How can we generate healthy boundaries and build respectful relationships?
Boundaries typically differ from person to person. They often vary by culture, personality, and social context. Setting healthy boundaries in our various relationships defines the parameters for ourselves and others, supports our mental well-being, and sets up all participants for success…how respectful is that?
Boundaries are important not only to keep both parties informed and supported, but are also crucial for our self-care, and to ensure productive and healthy relationships.
I’ve included the chart above which maps out the seven types of boundaries:
Mental, Emotional, Material, Internal, Conversational, Physical, and Time.
Most of us can recall a time when someone stood too close while talking or riding in the elevator. We usually size this up as an invasion of our personal space, which, in our American culture, makes us feel uncomfortable and possibly nervous. This is an example of a physical boundary.
How do we set healthy boundaries? How do we draw a line?
To set healthy boundaries, or draw the proverbial line, we must exercise self-awareness. It is paramount to know ourselves well enough to know with what we are comfortable and with what we are not. Clear communication skills are imperative to convey these comforts and discomforts.
When we are clear and straightforward and state our needs or requests in productive terms (what we like over what we do not like) and with “I” statements, we are setting up successful boundaries for ourselves and those with whom we have relationships. Sometimes discomfort happens when we verbalize our boundaries, and sometimes our boundaries aren’t respected with the first effort, but by practicing productive communication this discomfort will dissipate, and our boundaries will eventually be honored in healthy ways. AND, by putting boundaries in place, we are also practicing how to respect the boundaries others may require from us. A relationship that exercises mutual respect will prove to be productive (professional relationship), loving (romantic relationship), and strong (parent/child; family).
Build and participate in beautiful relationships for you and your important people…by drawing a line.
Written by a Vervewell Counseling therapist
Casye LeRay, LPC
When you schedule with Casye, you have the option for her to bring her licensed (and oh so cute) therapy dog, GumBeaux into your sessions. Not mandatory, simply an option.
Casye LeRay, LPC, at Vervewell Counseling in Fort Worth, TX, specializes in therapy for adolescents (10+), teenagers (13+), and young adults. With a background in both education and counseling, Casye offers flexible after-hours, weekend, and telehealth appointments to accommodate busy schedules. Based in the Near Southside District, she uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Solution-Focused Therapy and Accelerated Resolution Therapy (A.R.T.) to empower clients in setting healthy boundaries, managing stress, strengthening coping mechanisms and processing trauma, while building a positive sense of self.
