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]]>I’ll make this email short and sweet. THANK YOU to each of you who take the time to read these emails, as well as those of you who construct a kind reply. Connecting with our clients means the world to each of us therapists here at Vervewell.
Admittedly, I’m TIRED this week, which is why this will stay short.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to be good to myself, and why it’s so important to do so.
And no matter how difficult or complicated or deep I try to make it, I come back to this simple idea:
When I am good to myself, the happier I feel, and the happier I feel, the more genuinely available I am to those who are wanting to connect with me (maybe that’s my child, my parent, my brother or sister, my co-worker, my best friend, my sweet cats who talk to me each time I come home from wherever I’ve been).
For the love of those who love you, be good to you.
That’s it for this email.
In helpfulness,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director
Vervewell.org
Coming SOON:
Beth is taking her clients along on her nomadic adventure as she explores various small towns in the northeast. She is switching her clients to telehealth or phone calls (instead of in person). If you’d like to get on her schedule, and go along for the ride, please do so at Vervewell.org. Her Nomadically Northeast experience begins Monday, June 3, 2024. Feel free to get on her calendar before she relocates, so you can see the charming Vervewell offices beforehand.
Virtually Vervewell is in the works! This will be a link on the Vervewell website that offers on-line/virtual therapy and coaching courses. This link will also have Beth’s book for sale upon its release on June 1, 2024.
So much GROWTH at Vervewell, all so that we can extend our hands to offer more and more methods for personal growth, stronger relationships, and healthiest lifestyles. We got you!
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]]>As we celebrate the “Hallmark Holiday” as many like to call Valentine’s Day, I’d like to honor the things for which I’m grateful…I encourage you to do this journal-entry-type-exercise, too. When we shine a light on all the GOOD, the more space we create to be of service to others, as well as to receive the love and gratitude of others, not to mention the love and good energy that others will feel from us. Being an active participant in the love and the good of your world is an awesome thing. If we select to do one thing well, let it be this one: let it be love.
I am grateful for this old lap-top.
I am grateful for my fingers that move swiftly as I type, so far, arthritis free, even though it runs in my family.
I am grateful for the warm blanket wrapped around my legs as I sit this early morning composing this email. I am grateful that my blanket smells like fabric softener.
I am grateful for the two cats that are resting nearby. I am grateful for the personality they spill all over my home. I am grateful when Preston, the grey tabby, tangles himself within a roll of paper towels, full of fervor, offering me opportunity to exercise a better relationship with patience.
I am grateful for my daughter, her creative mind, her healthy body, and her willingness to think deeply more times than not. I am grateful to know her loving heart. I am grateful for the ability to invest in her growing life and mind. I am grateful my part of her expensive tuition, as it has offered me an on-going opportunity to show up financially. I am grateful for the life she has given to me simply by being her mother.
I am grateful for my mom, who at 82, still has a sparkle in her beautiful blue eyes. I am grateful that I can look to her for guidance. I am grateful for my stepdad who loves my mom very much. I am grateful for their demonstration that true love is real.
I am grateful for my older brother, who at 55, has become one of my closest friends.
I am grateful for my car, that it is spacious, comfortable, paid for, and will likely run for another 150,000 miles. I am grateful my car gets me to and from Dallas so that I can visit my brother, and other Dallas friends for whom I am also grateful. I am grateful that my car will be my vehicle to get me from Texas to the beautiful Northeast this summer and for the next year, as I will be nomadically living my life.
I am grateful for my career. I am grateful that I decided to go back to school when I was 31 to get an education which would ultimately allow me a path that is of service and support to others. I am grateful for each client and the honor of knowing them. I am grateful for their lives.
I am grateful for my older sister and our shared love for movies. I am grateful for our relationship as both of us get older, wiser, kinder, closer.
I am grateful for my staff who, somehow, gravitated towards my practice. I am grateful that they find support and stability to build a practice of their own that helps support their beautiful families. I am grateful to be a small part of each of their lives.
I am grateful for any financial rubs I’ve experienced throughout my adult life. I am grateful for each opportunity to pay a bill, or a debt. I am grateful for perspective adjustments.
I am grateful for tougher times, as each tough time gives me the opportunity to learn that I have exactly what I need to rise to a challenging occasion.
I am grateful for the friends who have given me space to stretch in the past couple of years as I have found my creative voice and medium. I am grateful that they believe in me. I am grateful for their understanding of me as I have tucked myself behind closed doors to devotedly write, create, and grow a version of me of whom I am proud.
I am grateful for the course correction I experienced in late 2022. I am grateful for the book I’ve written because of the course correction. I am grateful for the spiritual awakening I’ve experienced because of the course correction. I am grateful for deciding to use my course correction to be of better service to each client, to my daughter, to my family, to myself. I am again, and always, grateful for the beautiful ability to adjust my perspective.
I am grateful for my walks on the trail. I am grateful for my physical ability to experience so many miles, no matter the weather.
Now your turn.
In helpfulness,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director of Vervewell
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]]>The post Because I believe it to be so… appeared first on Vervewell.
]]>In the throes of a new year, I can’t help but to stare a bit more closely at our cultural relationship with self-discipline. And while I can clearly see that my self-discipline is (most of the time) strong, the bigger piece of this puzzle, the underlying item that makes or breaks my self-discipline, is my relationship with self-care, or the amount I BELIEVE that I deserve when it comes to health, wealth, and happiness.
Crazy, really, when I think about it. Could I still have thoughts, beliefs, at almost 54 years old, that subconsciously tell me regularly that I deserve what is less than abundant? Really?
The answer, is yes, I still have these thoughts, I still subconsciously honor these beliefs.
I waiver in and out of strong self-discipline because of the things I tell myself when I am at the brink of a precipice, collapsing back into my daily routine which I found undesirable, only days or weeks prior.
Most of the people I know can do anything for 21 days, or 30 days, or the month of January…but most of those same people (including me) struggle to maintain these things past the deadline upon which they’ve been focused. And THAT is the difference between deciding to apply self-discipline to achieve a goal or deciding to choose a shift in a BELIEF to achieve a lifestyle reshape.
If my beliefs around Dry January, for example, are: I will do it, but I’ll hate every moment of it…It will be hard…It is good for me to detox for 31 days, but come Feb 1…watch out!
Then I can bet my bottom dollar that ALL of that will be exactly how I feel during the 31 days of January. And if I BELIEVE these sentiments, and in turn I FEEL these sentiments, my behaviors will be in check for 31 days…and not a day longer, proving to myself that I, indeed, can successfully accomplish Dry January, but not a day more.
But what, then, do I do about how I take care of myself in February, March, April, and so on?
It’s ok to be an occasional drinker, that’s the key to balance, in my opinion. Just as it’s ok to be an occasional cupcake consumer. When I choose to overindulge more days than not, I am operating from a BELIEF that I am not deserving of all the good things* that balance offers.
Yet, I am! As are you.
So, now that Dry January is one for the books, let’s look at February, March, April and so on…
Look closely at the BELIEFS you hold about yourself. Are any of them limiting you? Are any of them allowing your inner groovy you to shine for only 30 days at a time? Are any of them manipulating you to believe that balance is boring?
Listen, I am in this boat with you, if in fact you are in this boat.
This past January (actually, all of 2023), I have been getting very honest with my self-BELIEFS, and as I’ve done so, a lot has changed. This honesty got me very UNcomfortable before it got me comfortable. But as I tell my clients again and again, our personal growth and gain is just past the discomfort. You will not find grand growth, or a life reshape if you stay “comfortable”. And the kicker? Likely, what we’ve been calling “comfortable”, is exactly what has been KEEPING us UNCOMFORTABLE, limited, oppressed.
If you desire to stretch, grow, or reshape, you must first take a very clear look at the BELIEFS you hold for yourself.
- “I won’t ever make more money than I am making now…”
- “My relationship with my grown child won’t ever be better…”
- “No matter how hard I try, these 20 pounds won’t come off!”
The THOUGHTS we have are our beliefs. And they can be limiting, or limitless. You decide.
If you’d like to explore this idea in more detail and with more determination, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I have a 21-day program that will exercise you right into new, stronger, more beautiful, and a hell of a lot more accurate BELIEFS about yourself.
In helpfulness,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director at Vervewell
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]]>Please enjoy our latest season of our Vervewell podcast, entitled:
This Won’t Be Done By 5.
I came up with this title, and this podcast many years ago. It gives a nod to the on-going process that is the human condition. My staff and I take the time to get transparent and personal and talk about therapeutic topics, as well as our own life stories and experiences.
It’s an easy listen. We hope you enjoy what you hear!
And if you have a topic, you’d like to hear us discuss in our future seasons, there is a link at the bottom of our podcast page for this exact thing.
Also, staff member Heather Chandler, LPC will be hosting a virtual TEEN GROUP beginning January 18!
Please email Heather for more information:
[email protected]
Thank you for continually letting Vervewell be in your corner. We love walking through life with you, your family, and your loved ones.
Best to each of you in this new year!
In helpfulness,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director at Vervewell
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]]>The post Well through Valentine’s Day… appeared first on Vervewell.
]]>Well, we did it. We have completed another year, whether successfully or unsuccessfully, it is now behind us. And the best part? Spread out ahead of us, month after month, is another year. Untapped, pliable, wide open real estate on our Gregorian calendar. What will you do with yours?
I have goals set, which I am SURE, like everyone else, WILL be met even well past February 14: the date that the bulk of America quits, begs it to stop, drops out of their once-upon-a-time, hand-to-god-type-swear-to-oneself that THIS year will be different, that this year, all-resolutions-WILL-be-seen-to-fruition type resolutions.
But, regardless of seemingly impossible odds, I have goals set. I am sure you do, too. Not resolutions, necessarily, as resolutions tend to get a bad rap, perhaps because we typically don’t land them. Instead, we quit them easily before Valentine’s Day. I like to set goals instead of resolutions. Perhaps this is a bit tomato/tomato, or a case in semantics, but for whatever reason, for me, “goals” offer less pressure than does the idea of “resolutions”.
Go get ‘em, this year! Map out your goals, or dare I say resolutions. For best results, spread them out over the next twelve months, four quarters, three hundred and sixty-five days. And whatever you do, whatever your goals, make sure you toss in the act of sending more love to your people, your friends, your family, your people. This is something that will truly make the world a better place: more love given. Don’t assume your people KNOW already. It’s best if you assume that they DON’T know how much you love them. And then take the time to let them know. You’ll never regret being a good, loving version of yourself. Maybe giving more love to your people can be your biggest goal…and maybe you can deliver such a nice idea…
well through Valentine’s Day…and everyday beyond.
Happy New Year!
In helpfulness,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director at Vervewell
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]]>The post …with an abundance of compassion appeared first on Vervewell.
]]>In a past email, I mentioned I have written a book. I am confident that it will be ready for self-publishing within the first quarter of 2024. My book is a self-help book, written in two parts. The first part is a memoir. Twelve chapters spelling out my personal stories, from birth to divorce, all the way identifying my childhood as my life’s driver. The second part is a twenty-one-day program I wrote while I was surviving my own grueling year. It is written with so much love and understanding, in hopes of guiding my readers out of anxiety, depression, compulsive behaviors and into a strong version of themselves, from worn out childhood driver to ready-to-go adult chauffeur. I’m hopeful that by transparently articulating my storyline, my short comings, I can offer comradery to my readers who may also have a childhood that has driven them off course into their adult lives, yet hold a desire to fire that childhood driver, and hire that adult chauffeur.
Here is a short quip from my manuscript:
The phone rang. I answered it quickly. The female voice on the other end spoke,
“May I speak to Dr. Clardy?”
Students calling my father was not too unusual. I yelled for my dad to get the phone and in that same breath, I recalled my mom’s voice: “When a man cheats on his wife, the woman with whom he is cheating will call the house.”
I made a split-second decision to test this theory of my mother’s, and I stayed on the line when my dad picked up. The female voice said with a purr,
“Gil, it’s me. I’m at your office. Tell your family you’re going to the grocery store. See you soon.”
I slammed down the phone so that my dad was sure to know that I knew. My mom was right. My head was spinning. I was filled with both rage and defeat. He opened my bedroom door slightly and could see that I was already crying. Gil, as I was no compelled to call him, looked past my sadness, and told me he needed to go to the grocery store. He shut my bedroom door, and shortly after, I heard his car leave the driveway.
I called Leah to come over immediately, as I wanted to chase him to his office; I wanted to barge into his rendezvous with the female voice on the other end of the phone. Leah arrived promptly, and when hearing my news, she cried with fury and hurt right along with me. We drove to the university and to Gil’s office. His car was parked alongside another car in the parking lot. Leah and I both had a strong desire to bust in on him and to yell our spitball words at both. Instead, Leah and I circled his office many times before we decided to just go home. While we were brave in her car, the reality of the hostile confrontation scared us both.
Once I was home, my dad arrived shortly after. He came to my room. He knew that I knew. I stood up from my bed, and through my puffy-tear-filled eyes, I told him that he needed to leave. I went on to say that his unhappiness and his absence were too painful for me and for my mom. I remember being filled with intense loyalty to her and the strongest desire to protect her. I wanted to protect her the way I wished someone would protect me in this dysfunctional train wreck of a family.
He smiled at me and said to me in his very usual, everything is ok tone, “When did my teenage daughter become wiser than me?”
I remember thinking if he only knew.
-excerpt from Beth’s book (still untitled)
I hope you grab a copy of my book once it is released so that you can read along as my childhood experiences shape my teenage stories, which in turn shaped my adult lens. Divorce is something many adults can recall from their childhood; I know my experience isn’t exactly novel. The way my dad handled his marriage to my mother was a very strong driving factor I carried around for far too many years. Once I made the executive decision to reshape my experience in adulthood, my life became healthier, I became more vulnerable, more available for healthy and transparent connections. To do this, I had to fire that damn, wounded childhood driver, crippled from years of dysfunctional, worn out movements, and to hire my metaphorical adult chauffeur.
My staff and I at Vervewell work with couples wanting to communicate better, to become more transparent with each other, and who are working through secrets within their relationship. We do this with an abundance of compassion and skill, sans judgment.
Find everything Vervewell at Vervewell.org
Including :
- each email under our Blog section
- our podcast, lovingly titled: This Won’t Be Done By 5, which gives a nod to the on-going process that is the human condition. SEASON 3 now available!! NEW EPISODES!
And, as always, schedule with your Vervewell therapist through our website, whether it’s your tried-and-true therapist you’ve had for years, or you’re seeking a brand-new therapist…
At Vervewell, we’ve got you.
In helpfulness…and holiday cheers,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder at Vervewell
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]]>The post …for tomorrow, we grow. appeared first on Vervewell.
]]>It’s the last month of 2023. I’ve been counting down to this month, this year’s end, since January 1 of this year. It’s been a doozie of a year for me. But it’s also been a strong year in the category of personal growth. I try to the best of my ability to practice what I preach, because I am human, a quality that you and I share.
I suggest the following life hack: put your new year’s goals in place NOW, in December. Put things on your January and February calendar in December so that you can sit back, and enjoy December, knowing that January and February will be all ready to go, all tucked into a row to achieve new goals in the new year. Map out your goals in December, while you’re inspired to grow and do better in the new year. Sometimes, if we wait till January, our spark dwindles a bit, and our desires we felt in November and December, don’t seem as important once the tree is down and the decorations are put away. Simply put, commit to your goals now. I’m not suggesting that you start them now, only that you commit to them now.
It’s December! The most wonderful time of the year! Be present in December. Click your glass with friends and family, whether that glass is filled with spirits or mocktails. Make special purchases for those you love and wrap them with joy, gratitude and beautiful paper. Write a special, personal note to each recipient. These gestures build connection by letting those we love, know the value in which we hold them. Don’t hold back when telling others how grateful you are for them, especially this time of year, or anytime.
I wish you abundant amounts of holiday cheer.
Eat, drink and be merry…for tomorrow… we are choosing to grow.
In helpfulness…and holiday cheers,
Beth Lewis, LPC-S
Founder at Vervewell
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]]>The post Kicking the old habits to the curb, for real this time appeared first on Vervewell.
]]>Do you find yourself struggling with the same old dysfunctional habits day after day? Week after week? Month after month? Year after year?
I’ve had good conversations with some clients recently about this. If you do struggle with poor habits, you are not alone.
Let’s keep this simple. The next time you are in the throes of having made a dumb decision, again, or you simply can’t get off the merry go round that is your relationship with poor self-soothing methods, answer the following questions:
- What am I trying not to feel right now?
- When did I learn this method, or from whom did I learn this method?
- What was going on in my world when I picked this method up?
- Can I spend the next 15 minutes sitting still, not participating in my usual methods?
- What feelings come up during those 15 minutes of stillness?
Once the 15 minutes have passed, (or many days, this is a more reasonable, realistic time frame if we’re being honest) come up with new self-soothing methods that are healthier and more supportive in design. As you come up with these new ideas, consider the following:
- Am I being kind to myself with my new methods?
- What do I hear myself saying to myself during these moments of challenge?
- What are three nice things I can shine a light on that show support, compassion and understanding to myself instead of judgment or harshness?
Talk with your Vervewell therapist about your self-soothing habits. Building healthy, supportive routines is the goal. The goal is not to alleviate challenges in our external world, that simply isn’t realistic. The goal is, and will always be, to learn new navigating skills within your internal world: your thoughts, your feelings, your actions.
You are powerful. Practice using your power for good.
Allow us to help you, we’d be so honored.
In helpfulness,
Beth
Founder at Vervewell
Feel free to go to our website and read or reread any of the emails you have found to be helpful or supportive.
And while you’re on our website, listen to our podcast, This Won’t Be Done By 5
https://vervewell.org/our-podcast/
We are recording Season 3 this month, with a release sometime in December, maybe January. All of us at Vervewell are continually creating resources that are supportive and helpful to each of us as we meander our way through this thing called life. Therapy for everyone.
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]]>The post Sharing creativity can be scary appeared first on Vervewell.
]]>As the founder and Creative Director at Vervewell, I take creativity rather seriously. I encourage my team of exceptional therapists to create their own worksheets, their own methods, their own lenses with their clients. I can’t help but to feel that each time one of us suggests a book, or some outside source for our clients, that we undermine our own expertise in this field, and create an exchange with our clients that does not represent the high-end care I pride myself in housing at Vervewell.
While I DO encourage each of us to continually educate ourselves, and to continually read and absorb current and classic trends in psychology and therapy, I push the importance of assimilating and organizing concepts we’ve learned, methods we’ve practiced helping our clients, by using our own voices, our own intelligence, and our own beliefs. We do the heavy reading for you, so that you don’t have to. I happen to believe, and my team continually proves this to be true, that we are rich with skill, talent, intellect, and thoughtfulness. We are, independently and collectively, experts in our field.
I’ve spent most of this year writing a book. I’m thrilled to announce that it is now in the hands of editors, as I eagerly await their feedback which will allow me to produce a book of highest quality to each of its readers. It is a self-help book, but one that includes many stories of my own life; the stories that have allowed me to write this book, create therapy methods, supervise my team, and grow into a therapist who is an empath, in every session, with every amazing client.
This book isn’t G-rated. So, heads up. It is a very honest, transparent, vulnerable declaration of where I’ve been, mistakes I’ve made, strengths I’ve flexed, and balls I’ve dropped, often causing harm to myself, or causing hurt to many I’ve loved. It may read like a cake walk to some, or like a train wreck to others. Either way, I am hopeful it offers helpful ideas to each reader; ideas that build autonomy, belief, heartfelt direction and thriving strides.
The email before this one included my RERank Method, a method spelled out in the self-help part of my book. It is a method I use regularly with my clients, and a method I’ve shared with my team.
Here is a very short excerpt from the personal stories in my book, pre-edited. I’ve also shared some of these stories, as well, with my clients. I often work with creatives, big thinkers, rebels, and empaths. My clients have told me that they feel seen, heard, and helped when we can “story swap” in session.
“My mom took us swimming in a private swimming pool at a racquetball club that summer. My sister got a job as a lifeguard, which is why we had access to this private club, but she had lied about her age. My parents were proud of Laurie for getting the job yet overlooked the lie. My dad liked having this country club type access but wouldn’t afford it himself. My mom held me in her arms while in the water, a feeling I loved more than anything. I liked how we looked like a normal family when we were there. I would float on my back in the water, with my smiling face beaming up to the sun, basking in the summer. My mom kept her arms just under my back as I floated, offering a glorious feeling of safety that I felt so seldom.
Laurie ultimately got fired for her lie, and her actual age.
I felt a categorization happen that summer, with the way I saw people and the way I would continually view myself. A categorization that had been building for many years prior. Us and them.
A familiar feeling of roughness washed over me, a feeling I had felt too many times before. A feeling that would ultimately become so one with me that I would struggle with differentiating between the roughness and my actual existence. The tackiness of inferiority, the lack of connection within, the on-going fears I held each night as I slept so lightly, the embarrassment of the behaviors of my family, the ugliness of my body, all tangled together. That was the roughness.
I felt revealed, exposed when my sister got fired. The Good People at the racquetball club could see our true colors, I just knew it. The Good People could see that we Rough people didn’t belong. We never again returned to that racquetball club.”
from Chapter One
“All Is Very Well; missteps and thriving strides”
Sharing creativity can often be scary. And I am not exempt from such fears. But I believe in my stories because they have grown a version of me today whom I don’t mind so much.
Click here to pre-order her book.
Click here to schedule a therapy session with a Vervewell therapist.
Our therapists are rich with inspired action.
vervewell.org
With love,
Beth Lewis, LPC-S
therapist offering therapy
Vervewell.org
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]]>The post The RERank Method appeared first on Vervewell.
]]>by Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder, Creative Director at Vervewell
What if I told you that you can combat your anxiety by changing your thoughts?
What if I told you that you can begin experiencing joy and bliss instead of anxiety?
What if I told you that you are here to give something powerful to your world, something beautiful, something that makes a difference?
For me, I find this to be exciting because this notion allows me to be in the driver’s seat of what I THINK, how I FEEL, and what value my life holds.
The RERank Method is empowering to me, and long overdue. Anxiety has kicked my ass more times than I care to admit. Feeling down has left me feeling as though the world and all its challenges are happening TO me, leaving me simmering in a life that feels average on a good day.
Enough already. Destructive thoughts be damned. Constructive thoughts begin.
By using the RERank Method, you direct your thoughts, and your best life awaits. It is here right now. It is yours for the taking. It is this dramatic.
Grab a pen and jot this down…you’ll want to refer to this whenever you experience those harder feelings running you over. You’ll want to remember that YOU are the driver of your feelings. And you drive your feelings by choosing your thoughts. That’s total freedom.
Here we go…
My thoughts
elicit my feelings
which cause my actions
which determine my results.
Say it again.
My thoughts
elicit my feelings
which cause my actions
which determine my results.
Give yourself the slightest bit of pause when something, anything happens in your day that drives you to feel down, destructive. Take note of what you’re thinking in such a moment. Our thoughts are full of rankings. We rank a billion things each day. And the direction of those rankings elicits the direction of our feelings.
Are you ranking things constructively or destructively?
If destructively, take a minute to RERank the thing that is happening. RERanking is the word I use to redirect my thoughts from destructive to constructive. I use this RERanking Method with my clients and they love the results it offers them.
For instance, maybe you get stuck in a traffic jam on the way into your office. Typically, you rank a traffic jam as a complete inconvenience, peppered with a few select, colorful words (destructive thought). Your blood pressure raises as your anger takes lead (destructive feelings). Once you’re finally at work, your mood is crappy and your desire to work is at a low (uninspired action), and your boss is breathing down your neck, making note of your low performance (result).
The goal of RERanking is to THINK constructively, therefore, FEEL constructively, not destructively. And to yield strong results day after day. Goodbye to anxious feelings, hello to joy and bliss, clarity and purpose.
Gratitude is a brilliant way to facilitate this RERanking, to generate GOOD, constructive thoughts, therefore, constructive feelings.
Remember, YOUR THOUGHTS drive your FEELINGS.
So, as you sit in that slow moving traffic, you can assist this RERanking method by taking a breath and thinking about all the things for which you hold gratitude in that moment.
I am grateful my car is full of gas, I am grateful I have the money to stop to get gas if my car is running low, I am grateful for the song I hear playing in this moment, I am grateful for the clothes I am wearing, I am grateful for each breath I am experiencing, I am grateful that my heart is beating one strong beat after another, I am grateful for the air conditioning in my car, I am grateful for my creative mind allowing me this thought process of gratitude, I am grateful for this opportunity to strengthen my patience, and so on, and so on.
As you slow your breath and THINK of the things for which you are grateful, and as you RERank the slow traffic from inconvenience to opportunity, begin to experience the constructive FEELINGS that show up, over the destructive, old feelings. Perhaps joy or bliss begins to show up.
Let’s do this traffic jam experience again. This time, you rank it as an opportunity to slow your breath, to gather some strong head space for your day ahead (constructive thought). As soon as you RERank the traffic from an inconvenience to an opportunity you experience a shift from anger to peace which will cause you to relax during your drive (constructive feeling) which can lead to the rest of your day holding more focus, more calmness, thriving strides and an accomplished day of completing tasks (inspired action), and a boss who is leaving you alone to do your inspired work (result).
Some uncool things will happen that typically will bring your thoughts down, therefore your feelings down. Such is life. The goal with my RERank Method is to learn strength in navigating your thoughts, not to alleviate uncool things altogether. That simply isn’t reasonable.
With the RERank Method, when the uncool things rear its ugly head, we choose to pause, and to RERank this thing in a constructive energy, not a destructive energy. This constructive RERanking lifts your thoughts, therefore lifts your feelings, which causes inspired actions, which determines beautiful results. A strong habit of RERanking will allow the constructive version of YOU to show up. YOU, with all your gifts, all your talents that will make a constructive mark on the world, shine a light on the value that is your life.
Practice, practice, practice. All the while, knowing, BELIEVING that YOU are made of exactly what it takes to drive your thoughts, elicit your feelings, cause your actions, determine your results. The world needs your mark.
Beautiful, now repeat…do it again.
The RERank Method is explored with more depth in Beth’s upcoming book entitled, All Is Very Well; missteps and thriving strides
Click here to pre-order her book.
Click here to schedule a therapy session with a Vervewell therapist.
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With love,
Beth Lewis, LPC-S
therapist offering therapy
Vervewell.org
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