During the initial therapy session, many people identify a desire to learn more about themselves. All, however, want some kind of material or emotional change in their life. They want better relationships, healthier lifestyles, and higher levels of performance. They want to feel better. While these two constructs, insight and experience, can be closely intertwined, we may sometimes find that the things we know don’t seem to line up with how we feel.
Today, let’s try to get unstuck by flipping the script! Through experimentation with action first, we can lay the groundwork for new knowledge to flourish.
As an example, consider how this problem and its solution might apply to the experience of severe demoralization or even depression. If we take a thinking-first approach, we might try to dispute our thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness by playing the devil’s advocate or putting our self-talk on trial. Unfortunately, there is a risk that these interventions could “bounce” off our already negative outlook. If I have, through both my thoughts and actions, isolated myself from hopefulness to protect myself from disappointment, what evidence do I even have that things could possibly get better? On top of that, the process of struggling to even control my own thoughts will further intensify my feelings of powerlessness.
In cases like this, when our own thinking is biased against us, fresh action may be the real key forward. It could be that by doing the literally unimaginable—be it cooking a good meal, singing karaoke, or taking a dance class—that we are able to prove our own thinking wrong and open the way to previously inaccessible insights. On the days my thinking from the couch paints going to the gym in a negative light, it is only through action that I can truly understand the reward of accomplishment (and those sweet endorphins!).
If you work with a therapist, the reciprocal relationship between thinking and action should be coming up, and it may even be a focal point in treatments like exposure therapy or paradoxical intention (i.e., “prescribing the symptom”). However, I also encourage you to make use of this idea on your own! You may do so by identifying a place where your thinking seems to be stuck, and where no further increase in information seems to dislodge the real reenactment of the problem.
Then, ask yourself the following four questions:
- Do I want things to change more than I want them to stay the same?
- Am I willing to temporarily step out of my comfort zone?
- What am I willing to try to make things go differently and/or collect real-world data? (Hint: Is there something I have been putting off or avoiding lately?)
- Am I willing to strike while the iron is hot on the next available opportunity?
Of course, if you need help brainstorming, rebuilding morale, reinforcing accountability, or simply getting a therapeutically informed perspective of the situation, we got you! While each of our therapists brings their own unique style, experience, and skillset, we are all compassionate, creative, and invested in getting you where you want to go. Schedule your first appointment or a free 15-minute consultation today!
I am welcoming new clients.
Best,
David Hooper, LPC, NCC, CRC
(214) 531-7532
david@vervewell.org
David Hooper, LPC, NCC, CRC, is a licensed professional therapist at Vervewell Counseling in Fort Worth, TX, in the Near Southside District. He specializes in co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders, and has deep experience working with professionals including CEOs, physicians, and attorneys. David also offers Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) for individuals dealing with post-traumatic stress, including veterans, first responders, and civilians. He sees clients in person and via telehealth across Texas.
