Goals Archives - Vervewell https://vervewell.org/category/goals/ Therapy for everyone Tue, 07 May 2024 14:42:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://vervewell.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/cropped-Untitled-design-2023-03-03T231545.631-1-32x32.png Goals Archives - Vervewell https://vervewell.org/category/goals/ 32 32 Keeping the Home Fires Burning https://vervewell.org/keeping-the-home-fires-burning/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=keeping-the-home-fires-burning Fri, 24 May 2024 10:00:44 +0000 https://vervewell.org/?p=23178 I’ve officially gone through every closet, every drawer, every room, the garage, my storage space…I’ve organized, cleaned out, purged, donated, sold, sorted all of it. My storage space is so tidy and neatly filled with the things I find worthy of keeping: winter clothes, some beautiful Christmas ornaments, as well as a stack of gorgeous…

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I’ve officially gone through every closet, every drawer, every room, the garage, my storage space…I’ve organized, cleaned out, purged, donated, sold, sorted all of it. My storage space is so tidy and neatly filled with the things I find worthy of keeping: winter clothes, some beautiful Christmas ornaments, as well as a stack of gorgeous Lenox platinum dishes with which I simply can’t yet part ways. The Vervewell offices now house the modest art, photography, and record collections I gathered over my forty plus years in Texas, which, in my opinion, fill each space with soul.

I’ve done what has been asked of me before I move, before I relocate, wander, explore, find. I have turned “my home” into “their Air B&B”.  You, too, can rent my home for your guests beginning in June of this year. It’s a lovely space. It’s where I wrote my book. It’s where I turned a corner.

All I have left to do is a practice run of packing my daughter’s car with what I plan to take w me. If some things won’t fit, they will be left in my storage, or donated.  


Dare I say, I am ready.  Now…I count down days…34, 33, 32…27, 26, 25…13, 12, 11…


While I will be back every four to six weeks indefinitely, I will miss my daily connection with the Vervewell offices and, specifically, my staff, who are, more accurately, my friends. Thankfully, technology is such that daily communication can be a strong existence between me and them. Please allow one of them to be your therapist. I promise this will become a relationship of support, trust, confidentiality and the always needed, personal growth. That is the goal of therapy: personal growth.  Some say the goal is to heal, which is also accurate. Whatever your reason, I encourage you to be the keeper of such a solid connection, a gift to your soul.

I am not leaving, I am relocating…going. I am still seeing clients through Vervewell telehealth. My clients will catch me in various backdrops, some still yet to be determined: Hudson, NY, Barnstable, MA, Newport, RI, Mystic, CT as I submerge myself into various locations, cultures, experiencing life as me, no longer as my things.


I am proud that Vervewell is strong enough to do this.

That’s some good therapy. You are in the best hands, with each therapy room full of soul.

Accept nothing less.


In personal growth and healing,

Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director
Vervewell: therapy for everyone

 


P.S.

My first book launches this Summer:

Stop Talking About Your Childhood:
one therapist’s personal memoir & 21-day strategy to strengthen adulthood
and focus forward, forever


My self-help website/platform launches this Fall:

LongLiveLively.org

All the while, Vervewell is keeping the home fires burning.

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]]> Not today, anxiety, not today https://vervewell.org/not-today-anxiety-not-today/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=not-today-anxiety-not-today Fri, 10 May 2024 10:00:01 +0000 https://vervewell.org/?p=23168 Every now and then anxiety trips me up. It drapes itself around me and gets the best of me. I become small under its massive, oppressive presence. And in my smallness, I feel fear. Anxiety is a beast, and every now and then, I am its prey. Because of this unbearable heaviness of being, I…

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Every now and then anxiety trips me up. It drapes itself around me and gets the best of me. I become small under its massive, oppressive presence. And in my smallness, I feel fear. Anxiety is a beast, and every now and then, I am its prey.

Because of this unbearable heaviness of being, I have come up with a method to help myself shake this seemingly unshakeable discomfort. This method not only has helped me, it has also helped my clients.

the Rethink method:

This method is explained in depth in my upcoming book (release: Summer 2024).

The basic jist is:

  • Something happens
  • We apply a thought/belief to it
  • The thought/belief generates feelings
  • The feelings direct our actions
  • Our actions yield our results

EXAMPLE 1:

Financial stress/anxiety:

  • A credit card bill arrives in the mail
  • As soon as you see the MasterCard logo on the envelope you think: Aaaargh!  I can’t afford this!  I am so bad with money!  Why did I spend so much on my credit card last month?!!! I’m doomed!
  • Anxiety floods over you, as do profound feelings of lack and loss
  • You tear up the bill, ignore it, or you spend more because retail therapy is a medicine that got you here in the first place (can you say: vicious cycle?)
  • You are overdrawn even more

Let’s Rethink this:

  • A credit card bill arrives in the mail
  • As soon as you see the MasterCard logo on the envelope you think: Ok, here it is, the amount I need to pay. What a great opportunity to believe in my financial strength. I am so grateful for this opportunity to show up financially, and for my financial ability and perserverence
  • Peace surrounds you, as does gratitude
  • You open the bill and immediately contact the company to either set up payments, or to pay the bill in full
  • You are within your budget and hold excitement towards your financial capabilities

Example 2:

Relationship stress/anxiety:

  • A breakup is happening
  • Whether the breakup is by your design, or orchestrated from your soon-to-be-ex, you find yourself thinking, blaming him or her or them or yourself for being not good enough, for being selfish or narcissistic (we love this label these days)
  • You feel abandoned, or cruel or misunderstood
  • You over-consume to self-medicate (be it consumption of food, alcohol, shopping, or sex)
  • You are left deflated, manic, depressed, out of sorts

Let’s Rethink this:

  • A breakup is happening
  • Whether the breakup is your design, or orchestrated by your soon to be ex, you decide to think/believe from an accountable place (not a blame place, but an accountable place, there is a difference): I am ready to personally grow, this is opportunity to address some personal shortcomings…I am not responsible for the shortcomings of my soon-to-be-ex, those are theirs to manage, however they decide to do so.
  • You feel healthy, grown up, capable of managing any discomfort
  • You take action. You journal more frequently, you schedule sessions with your therapist, you gather friends for company, you take yourself (and your dog) on long walks while listening to your favorite music or your favorite podcast.
  • You find yourself in a position that is a stronger and healthier version of you

While anxiety is an oppressor, believe it or not, it is in your power to determine just how “oppressible” you are. By exploring your thoughts and beliefs around an incident and shifting them to a productive place, you are redirecting your results. You are rethinking.

Your therapist is here for you. Take productive, strong action and schedule some sessions, or some extra sessions.  Let’s do a deep dive into just how capable, how non-oppressible you are.

In healing and personal growth,

Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
and the Vervewell staff
Vervewell.org

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]]> THANK YOU to each of you https://vervewell.org/thank-you-to-each-of-you/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=thank-you-to-each-of-you Fri, 01 Mar 2024 10:00:08 +0000 https://vervewell.org/?p=23142 I’ll make this email short and sweet.  THANK YOU to each of you who take the time to read these emails, as well as those of you who construct a kind reply.  Connecting with our clients means the world to each of us therapists here at Vervewell.   Admittedly, I’m TIRED this week, which is…

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I’ll make this email short and sweet.  THANK YOU to each of you who take the time to read these emails, as well as those of you who construct a kind reply.  Connecting with our clients means the world to each of us therapists here at Vervewell.

 

Admittedly, I’m TIRED this week, which is why this will stay short.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to be good to myself, and why it’s so important to do so.

And no matter how difficult or complicated or deep I try to make it, I come back to this simple idea:

 

When I am good to myself, the happier I feel, and the happier I feel, the more genuinely available I am to those who are wanting to connect with me (maybe that’s my child, my parent, my brother or sister, my co-worker, my best friend, my sweet cats who talk to me each time I come home from wherever I’ve been).

 

For the love of those who love you, be good to you.

 

That’s it for this email.

 

In helpfulness,

Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director
Vervewell.org

 

Coming SOON:

Beth is taking her clients along on her nomadic adventure as she explores various small towns in the northeast. She is switching her clients to telehealth or phone calls (instead of in person).  If you’d like to get on her schedule, and go along for the ride, please do so at Vervewell.org.  Her Nomadically Northeast experience begins Monday, June 3, 2024.  Feel free to get on her calendar before she relocates, so you can see the charming Vervewell offices beforehand.

 

Virtually Vervewell is in the works!  This will be a link on the Vervewell website that offers on-line/virtual therapy and coaching courses.  This link will also have Beth’s book for sale upon its release on June 1, 2024. 

So much GROWTH at Vervewell, all so that we can extend our hands to offer more and more methods for personal growth, stronger relationships, and healthiest lifestyles.  We got you!

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]]> Because I believe it to be so… https://vervewell.org/because-i-believe-it-to-be-so/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=because-i-believe-it-to-be-so Fri, 02 Feb 2024 10:00:35 +0000 https://vervewell.org/?p=23127 In the throes of a new year, I can’t help but to stare a bit more closely at our cultural relationship with self-discipline.  And while I can clearly see that my self-discipline is (most of the time) strong, the bigger piece of this puzzle, the underlying item that makes or breaks my self-discipline, is my…

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In the throes of a new year, I can’t help but to stare a bit more closely at our cultural relationship with self-discipline.  And while I can clearly see that my self-discipline is (most of the time) strong, the bigger piece of this puzzle, the underlying item that makes or breaks my self-discipline, is my relationship with self-care, or the amount I BELIEVE that I deserve when it comes to health, wealth, and happiness.

Crazy, really, when I think about it.  Could I still have thoughts, beliefs, at almost 54 years old, that subconsciously tell me regularly that I deserve what is less than abundant? Really? 

The answer, is yes, I still have these thoughts, I still subconsciously honor these beliefs.

I waiver in and out of strong self-discipline because of the things I tell myself when I am at the brink of a precipice, collapsing back into my daily routine which I found undesirable, only days or weeks prior.

Most of the people I know can do anything for 21 days, or 30 days, or the month of January…but most of those same people (including me) struggle to maintain these things past the deadline upon which they’ve been focused. And THAT is the difference between deciding to apply self-discipline to achieve a goal or deciding to choose a shift in a BELIEF to achieve a lifestyle reshape.

If my beliefs around Dry January, for example, are: I will do it, but I’ll hate every moment of it…It will be hard…It is good for me to detox for 31 days, but come Feb 1…watch out! 

Then I can bet my bottom dollar that ALL of that will be exactly how I feel during the 31 days of January.  And if I BELIEVE these sentiments, and in turn I FEEL these sentiments, my behaviors will be in check for 31 days…and not a day longer, proving to myself that I, indeed, can successfully accomplish Dry January, but not a day more.

But what, then, do I do about how I take care of myself in February, March, April, and so on?

It’s ok to be an occasional drinker, that’s the key to balance, in my opinion. Just as it’s ok to be an occasional cupcake consumer. When I choose to overindulge more days than not, I am operating from a BELIEF that I am not deserving of all the good things* that balance offers.

Yet, I am! As are you.

So, now that Dry January is one for the books, let’s look at February, March, April and so on…

Look closely at the BELIEFS you hold about yourself.  Are any of them limiting you?  Are any of them allowing your inner groovy you to shine for only 30 days at a time? Are any of them manipulating you to believe that balance is boring?

Listen, I am in this boat with you, if in fact you are in this boat.

This past January (actually, all of 2023), I have been getting very honest with my self-BELIEFS, and as I’ve done so, a lot has changed. This honesty got me very UNcomfortable before it got me comfortable. But as I tell my clients again and again, our personal growth and gain is just past the discomfort.  You will not find grand growth, or a life reshape if you stay “comfortable”. And the kicker?  Likely, what we’ve been calling “comfortable”, is exactly what has been KEEPING us UNCOMFORTABLE, limited, oppressed.

If you desire to stretch, grow, or reshape, you must first take a very clear look at the BELIEFS you hold for yourself.

  • “I won’t ever make more money than I am making now…”
  • “My relationship with my grown child won’t ever be better…”
  • “No matter how hard I try, these 20 pounds won’t come off!”

The THOUGHTS we have are our beliefs. And they can be limiting, or limitless. You decide.

If you’d like to explore this idea in more detail and with more determination, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I have a 21-day program that will exercise you right into new, stronger, more beautiful, and a hell of a lot more accurate BELIEFS about yourself.

In helpfulness,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director at Vervewell

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]]> Well through Valentine’s Day… https://vervewell.org/elementor-23101/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=elementor-23101 Wed, 03 Jan 2024 16:39:27 +0000 https://vervewell.org/?p=23101 Well, we did it.  We have completed another year, whether successfully or unsuccessfully, it is now behind us. And the best part? Spread out ahead of us, month after month, is another year. Untapped, pliable, wide open real estate on our Gregorian calendar. What will you do with yours? I have goals set, which I…

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Well, we did it.  We have completed another year, whether successfully or unsuccessfully, it is now behind us. And the best part? Spread out ahead of us, month after month, is another year. Untapped, pliable, wide open real estate on our Gregorian calendar. What will you do with yours?

I have goals set, which I am SURE, like everyone else, WILL be met even well past February 14: the date that the bulk of America quits, begs it to stop, drops out of their once-upon-a-time, hand-to-god-type-swear-to-oneself that THIS year will be different, that this year, all-resolutions-WILL-be-seen-to-fruition type resolutions.

But, regardless of seemingly impossible odds, I have goals set. I am sure you do, too. Not resolutions, necessarily, as resolutions tend to get a bad rap, perhaps because we typically don’t land them. Instead, we quit them easily before Valentine’s Day. I like to set goals instead of resolutions. Perhaps this is a bit tomato/tomato, or a case in semantics, but for whatever reason, for me, “goals” offer less pressure than does the idea of “resolutions”.

Go get ‘em, this year! Map out your goals, or dare I say resolutions. For best results, spread them out over the next twelve months, four quarters, three hundred and sixty-five days. And whatever you do, whatever your goals, make sure you toss in the act of sending more love to your people, your friends, your family, your people. This is something that will truly make the world a better place: more love given. Don’t assume your people KNOW already. It’s best if you assume that they DON’T know how much you love them. And then take the time to let them know. You’ll never regret being a good, loving version of yourself. Maybe giving more love to your people can be your biggest goal…and maybe you can deliver such a nice idea…

well through Valentine’s Day…and everyday beyond.

Happy New Year!

In helpfulness,
Beth Clardy Lewis, LPC-S
Founder and Creative Director at Vervewell

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